Are you a newlywed? If you are, congratulations! You’ve made one of the most important decisions in your life. In marriage, both the man and the woman will experience something they have never experienced before, and I hope what you will be experiencing is something that gets even better over time.
To help you adjust to the new life that you now have as a married person, here are some tips for you. These are foundational, and developing them early in your marriage will ensure a blessed marriage.
3 Things Newlywed Couples Must Learn
Doing these three requires effort, and a lot of love for your spouse, powered by the love God has for both of you. Do them faithfully, and enjoy your marriage.
1. First, prioritise God above each other
To begin with, you and your spouse must decide to put God first, even ahead of each other. All married couples should learn to prioritise God above each other, because God doesn’t want anything or anybody taking His place in our lives (see Exodus 20:3-6).
Don’t worry, though. God is gracious and will help both of you to put Him first, if you ask His help (see James 1:5).
Develop a culture of “God first” early in your marriage. Set aside time for personal prayer and Bible reading. Build the habit of praying and reading the Bible together. Allow God to lead your marriage with His Word and His Spirit. You won’t regret it.
2. Second, prioritise each other
Next, learn to prioritise each other. What I mean by this is both of you should learn to put each other ahead of yourselves. While it’s not wrong to think of your needs, thinking of your spouse’s needs would be better.
The Bible commands all husbands to love their wives like Christ loved the church, and that means “sacrificially.” Wives, on the other hand, are commanded to respect, honour, and submit to their husbands. That means sacrificing yourself, too (see Ephesians 5:21-33).
When newlywed couples learn to prioritise each other ahead of their own wants, desires, and needs, growing marriages marked by selfless love can be expected. This includes setting your dreams and aspirations aside for the sake of your spouse.
3. Third, prioritise each other above other people
Lastly, realise that your marriage is between you, your spouse, and God before whom you made your vows to each other. Third parties of any kind shouldn’t have a place in your marriage (see Genesis 2:24).
Not all third parties are adulterous in nature. It could be friends in basketball or another sport, a classmate in grad school that you’re doing some research with, or perhaps that nice old shop owner you spend more time talking to compared to your spouse. Go figure.
Friend, realise that God designed marriage to be just between the husband and the wife. Learn to prioritise your marriage before your other relationships.
And yes, if your spouse feels uncomfortable with a friend of yours, be willing to let that friendship go. Your spouse goes first.
It’s Worth All The Effort
Friend, these will take some time to get used to especially if you just got married, but they’re worth the effort. The idea here is prioritising God who gave you your spouse; then prioritising the spouse that God gave you; and then prioritising the commitment you and your spouse made before God.