Breaking up is hard to do … unless of course, you have God on your side!
We know, there are plenty of good reasons to break up with someone—and many may actually be spiritual or theological. But we also know how some people in Christian circles tend to use “God” as an easy way out of awkward situations.
We asked you to send us the best examples of cheesy Christian breakup lines you’ve ever heard. You did not disappoint.
The responses were a mix of hysterical, kind of depressing and hysterical.
Here are a few of our favorites.
A girlfriend suggested I read “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris. I didn’t take the hint for a few months
I got broken up with in a TEXT MESSAGE that said ‘God took away my desire to date you.’
Dated a Catholic girl, I’m not catholic. told me she needed to be closer to God so she broke up w/ me by giving me up for lent.
These words echoed in the room even though it was a whisper, “It’s not you…it’s God.” (Rather than, “It’s not you. It’s me.”)
“the Lord is my Shepard, I shall not want….you”
I once had a girl quote scripture and a supposed prophetic word to get me to not break up with her. Glad I married someone else :).
“it’s like a water bottle. the more I date, the more holes will be in that bottle and the less water my wife will get.” what??
Cheesy breakup: “I want to discern the episcopalian priesthood” (they can marry). Weeks later he asked someone else out.
A guy in Bible college ‘interviewed’/dismissed me b/c I might hurt his potential in being above reproach.
A great one I got early on as a Christian: “you’ve become too important to me, so I need to date just Jesus for awhile”. Hugh?
“We’re just unequally yoked.”
My favourite: “If God wants us to be together, He will show us a sign.” @RELEVANT, I’m still waiting. He, obviously, isn’t.