As I look back on the past couple years of my life, I can see it marked with significant transition and as 2016 comes to a close I am once again entering into a new chapter, with new possibilities and new relationships.
In a word, change.
In my head, change sounds wonderful, but in reality the transition always comes with a cost, the cost of letting go of the past in order to move forward to the future, to say goodbye to what was and hello to what will be.
In one moment I am itching for change, ready to move on to the new, and in the next breath I am wondering, doubting and fearing what might be.
Can I handle it?
Will God provide?
Am I ready?
Will I like it?
Quickly my mind starts to spin and I have to stop the mind madness and believe the best, to believe that the change I am actually anticipating is coming for my good.
Brene Brown says, “Joy is an emotion so many people seek, but it’s by far the most terrifying feeling we face. When we lose our tolerance for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding. I am not going to feel you and soften in the moment of joy because I am scared it’s going to be taken away.”
* To see the full video CLICK HERE—worth the 5 minutes!
If I am honest, this where I find myself. I want to believe that God wants to bless me with abundance, yet sometimes it seems to good to be true, and as Brene says, “We beat vulnerability to the punch and don’t allow ourselves to fully feel joy.” Instead my mind wonders:
Will God take it all away?
Is He really the God of the details?
Can I trust what’s ahead?
With my thoughts spinning I am met with a choice.
- I can choose to walk in faith, live in hope, and trust in my God who is love. The choice is mine again and again.
- I can put aside circumstances, relational dynamics, and all those emotions and understand it simply comes down to a choice.
- I can fight, push, pull and pursue faith, hope, and love and live into the joy God has waiting for me.
Here within my heart, soul and mind is actually where true change occurs, and regardless of my circumstances, I am living in true abundance.
So as the itch for change increases, there is one thing I have control in, and it comes with a choice.
Choosing faith, hope, love and joy knowing that this is actually where I am changed.
And in the end, this is the change I am really longing for again and again.