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How Far Is Too Far Before Marriage?

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John Piper gives some Biblical counsel about physical affection before marriage.The Bible does not have a section of rules for engaged or dating couples to follow, but we can look at Biblical principles apply specifically to this. The Bible does celebrate sex as a gift for husbands and wives to enjoy. Just look at the Song of Solomon, or Proverbs 5:18,19. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul confronts the false teaching that it’s more spiritual to avoid sex, affirming that sex is a great thing and it’s a part of intimacy, not something you just have to get through in order to have a child! But it is only for marriage. In 1 Corinthians 7:9 he has direction for those who are unmarried but sexually awakened: But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
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John Piper points out that our bodies were designed by God to respond to sexual touching with a desire for sexual intercourse. If you’re not yet married, don’t do things that awakens your passion to go further. Have a conversation that establishes boundaries, committing yourselves to stay away from the kind of privacy and touching and kissing that would take you down that road.

Men, be strong here. Set a pure and holy pattern for your relationship today. Don’t make your girlfriend or fiancée be one to put on the brakes. Women, don’t entice a man to touch you or try to see how far he’ll go. And if you tell him “no,” ahead of time or in the moment, you will learn a lot about his character through his response.

John Piper’s final point was to those who are not in a relationship. If you are not married, you are not any less of a person. Jesus was not married, did not experience sex, and he was a prefect and whole human being.

 

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