To give credit to the course, they addressed the awkwardness early on, and immediately sought to put people at ease. The course speaker, HTB pastor Will van der Hart, is friendly, funny, and full of genuinely refreshing insight. Here is some of what I learned from the course.
Lets (not) talk about sex
The well-attested Christian preoccupation with sex and marriage was addressed immediately. Mercifully, though surprisingly, van der Hart made it clear that we wouldn’t be talking about sex and marriage. They can be unhelpful distractions, he says. There is however, “an assumption that those who come want to share their life with someone.” So, we can accept the fact that we’re all here because we’re looking in the direction of long term commitment, without ringing wedding bells every time we mention the possibility of a date. It’s a thoughtful, much needed dosage of what they call “chill”. I appreciated that.
Define the relationship?
Van der Hart had fun exploring the different definitions we can give to dating. Hanging out? Seeing each other? In an intentional relationship? When does “dating” begin? There comes a time for every couple when one must “define the relationship”, or #DTR. The course used a definition coined by van der Hart: “Investing in an attractional relationship with a view to determining its suitability for deeper commitment.”
