Children observe and hear when you are dishonest. We all have known people who are habitual liars and know it is wrong behavior. If child see this, they will think that lying is completely normal and acceptable. Put it this way, would you want your little darling marrying a liar? Of course not, teach them that dishonesty is wrong. Being around people who are not truthful will show them that it is OK, and that everyone is like this. Even selective honesty can teach children to not be truthful. You know that “white lie” when you tell people you are not home to talk on the phone, when you are there and just tired? Well, they pick up on this and will emulate the same behavior when they are adults.
You Condemn Your Spouse
Belittling your spouse or making fun of them in front of the kids will influence them in their lives and their future. It hurts them when you degrade your spouse, and it teaches them that it is OK to talk bad about loved ones. If you are having a disagreement work it out in private, and show the family that you can have discussion with each other without trying to make each other look bad. Show your audience that there can be peace even with differentiating opinions. This will give them pause that relationships take work, but there can be a resolution regardless of the disagreements.We know that relationships are hard. They are harder on the kids we are responsible for shaping and molding. No one is perfect, and you will be flawed as a parent, but there are concessions you can make to help mold a well-rounded person who will not see marriage as a chore, prison, or a battle ground. Being around constant fighting, anger, and manipulation creates an endless cycle of low-self esteem, viewing marriage in a negative light, and refraining from a commitment. We need to be the ones that break the negative cycle, not them.
