1. Criticizing your spouse in public, in private or online.
The tone of your words will shape the tone of your marriage. Criticism, nagging, or constantly “correcting” your spouse can make both you and your spouse more vulnerable to an affair. When you look at your spouse with a critical eye, you’re more likely to have your eyes open to someone else and your spouse is more likely to be drawn in by someone who will compliment them instead of criticizing. If there’s a climate of criticism in your marriage, take immediate action to change it. Be your spouse’s biggest encourager; not their biggest critic!
#2 reveals one of the most dangerous warning signs in a deteriorating marriage...
2. If you and your spouse aren’t hugging, kissing, holding hands, etc., that’s a big warning sign. Frequent sexual intimacy is obviously important as well, but these smaller acts of everyday physical touch are so important to the physical and emotional connectedness that keep a husband and wife bonded. If your marriage is lacking in this area, start initiating physical contact. If your spouse doesn’t receive your advances with warmth, start conversations about the reasons why there’s a disconnect. A marriage starved of sex and other forms of physical affection is in a dangerous and vulnerable place.
#3 might surprise you, but I’ve found it’s one of the biggest factors in the health of a marriage...
3. Surrounding yourself with friends who don’t know (or don’t like) your spouse.
I’m convinced that one of the biggest factors that lead people into affairs is the friends they choose to hang around. This might sound surprising to you, but I’ve seen it play out over and over. In most (not all) cases of adultery, the spouse who had the affair had also been spending time with friends or co-workers who don’t encourage marital faithfulness. Surround yourself with friends who strengthen your character and remove yourself from those who attempt to compromise your character.
