Modesty in clothing is such a big issue in Christianity, but many believers are divided about it. Men blame the women for their difficulties in the area of purity, thanks to revealing clothes. On the other hand, women blame men for being perverts who can’t stop lusting after them. To be frank about it, both camps are wrong. Why do I say that? Read on.
To my sisters
Ladies, I am a married man who has seen beauty in the face of God, and in the face and person of my wife. I want to ask you: Why wear revealing clothes anyway?
The Bible tells us that we should put no confidence in the flesh (see Philippians 3:3-4). While we know Paul was saying not to trust the flesh when it comes to salvation and the fight against sin, I want you, dear sisters, to consider it this way as well: Maybe you shouldn’t base your beauty on the responses you get when people see your bare skin.
I’ve seen a great deal of sisters in church wear clothes that would make the unsaved think like Christian women aren’t any different from non-Christian women. I’ve heard the same Christian women say something like “God made you [beautiful/sexy] so flaunt it.” That couldn’t be more carnal.
Ladies, God made you to be holy, set apart, and precious in His sight (see 1 Timothy 2:8-10). You don’t have to win people’s attention by showing your skin. You don’t have to wear “adventurous” clothing that causes unrenewed men to lust after you. You don’t have to reveal your skin because culture dictates it. You just have to know that God loves you, that He made you according to His design, and that you don’t have to get your confidence from the praise (or catcalls) you get from people.
Receive your security from the Lord. (see Psalm 16:2)
To my brothers
Gentlemen, I am a man like you. I know that many of us struggle with our minds after we see a scantily-clad woman, Christian or not. While not all men struggle in the area of sexual purity, I know that a great many do, and I am here to encourage you: We can overcome in Christ (see Romans 8:37).
Brothers, we need to see our sisters in church as sisters. We need to love them as sisters (see 1 Timothy 5:2). We must not lust after any woman, whether she’s modestly clothed or not (see Matthew 5:27-30). God gave us our eyes to see His face, not ogle at a woman’s body. God gave us our minds to think of what He wants, not to imagine things too shameful to mention.
Men, all who are in Christ are given the mind of Christ (see 1 Corinthians 2:16). We are told, “be transformed by the renewing of your mind” through the Word of God, not the patterns of the world (see Romans 12:2). We should see, think of, and treat women the way Christ did. And yes, if you’re married, your wife should be the only beautiful woman in your sight.
Let God be the beauty that you want to see (see Psalm 27:4).
Love you both
Brothers and sisters, instead of bashing each other for causing one another to stumble, let us do things that build up one another (see 1 Thessalonians 5:4-11).
Ladies, help the men by wearing beauty of character instead of clothing that will tempt men to think wrong of you. Real God-fearing men don’t like seeing you revealing your skin. Reserve your body for your husband or future husband instead.
Men, treat the ladies with respect and encourage them to trust God for their beauty by not lusting after them nor tolerating revealing clothes. Let them see that God-fearing men value modesty in a world full of sensuality.
