“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me” (Psalm 51:10 ESV). Only then — with a clean heart and a right spirit — will we be in a position to effectively pray for our spouse.
When we pray, we recognize the importance of praying for the needs of our partner — what they are going through at work, their troubles, concerns and physical ailments. God wants us to take everything to Him, to make our requests known to Him (Philippians 4:6). But there are other specific ways we can pray, and should be praying, for our spouse.
Here are three ways I try to pray for my wife:
1. That she will always love God more than she loves me. Our first love should be our Creator, the One who loves us more than any other person can. Pray that your spouse would love the Lord so much that it inspires you to love Him more. After all, it is the first and greatest commandment, as Jesus Himself says in Matthew 22:37-38.
2. That she will love me more than she loves the kids. It’s easy to let our lives revolve around our children. The problem, which is well documented, is that when we do that as parents, we grow further and further apart as husbands and wives. Pray that your spouse will love you as much — actually, more than — he or she did on your wedding day. While their love for the children should be strong, pray that it never takes the place of their love for you.
3. That she will love others more than she loves herself. In Matthew 22, after Jesus identifies the greatest commandment, He speaks of a second, equally important, commandment: “Love your neighbor as yourself” (v. 39). Most of us have no problem loving ourselves. We show it by how we prioritize the things that directly benefit us. Pray that your spouse will love others more than they love themselves. We are reminded of Christ’s example of this kind of humility: He “emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men” (Philippians 2:7). In that chapter, we are also reminded to “do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3).
