God wants us to cultivate what we have been given. But in marriage the reality of what we have been given is often far more challenging to cultivate than we ever would have anticipated.
There is pain between expectation and reality.
This kind of work in marriage IS painful…yet it produces a bond that compares with no other. It brings about character, joy, honor, patience, perseverance, and maturity. Pressing on through the hardship of marriage not only binds two people together in an indescribably beautiful scar-filled unity, but ultimately sanctifies us and causes our lives to look more and more like Jesus.
Jesus, while we were yet his enemies, laid down his life for our sake. We were ransomed from our futility by his own blood and have been born again into a new hope, a living hope, to be built up as living stones in honor of the one true God. We are a people chosen for God’s possession, for obedience, and for His glory.
Through marriage we learn to love like Jesus does.
I urge you, dear friend, if you find yourself reading this and you are not at peace with your spouse…drop whatever you are doing and begin with prayer. What is it you need to hear? Where is it you need to grow? What is it you need to change? Ask the Lord to change your heart first.
Don’t waste any time and don’t give any room for distance. If there is something you need to confess, do it. If there is something you need to forgive, do it. Carve out the time to pursue the hard conversations and ask God to give you ears to hear past their spoken words.
Look carefully for what might be deeper. Is there loneliness? fear? shame? rejection? Ask God to give you a heart that seeks to truly listen, love, repent, forgive, pursue, and serve first. Ask Him to fill you with all joy and peace and to give you resolve to love like Jesus does.
Marriage is for our good and for His glory. Let today be the day you soften your heart.
Proverbs 4:23 – Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.
Proverbs 3:5 – Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
Philippians 4:7 – And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your heartsand your minds in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 4:18 – They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart.
1 John 3:16 – By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.
