So if the people who should demonstrate God’s love to you are not or cannot do so, how are you to experience God’s love? Are you doomed to painful lack forever?
Here are some practical ways to experience God’s love when others don’t love you, or love you very imperfectly.
These points focus on what you can do. You cannot change others, but you can take steps yourself to find healing, meaning, love and joy.
Choose Healthier People
Some people simply cannot or will not demonstrate love. Continuing to go to them for what they cannot provide is like going to a dry well for water; you will always end up disappointed, wounded and dry.
But you have a choice in the kinds of people you spend most of your time with. Jesus didn’t give His time and energy equally to everyone; you too have a choice. Pray for and look for people who do demonstrate important aspects of God’s love. As Mr. Rogers’ mother would tell him, “Look for the helpers.” If you did not or are not getting your love needs met from your parents or spouse or friends, search for other healthy believers who have something positive to give. You may need some new friends. Don’t spend time worrying about what should be; look for other possibilities.
Love Someone Else
One of the most reliable ways to lift your spirits is to get your eyes off yourself and focus on meeting someone else’s needs. There is always someone who needs something you have to give. Always. Yes, learn healthy ways to get your own soul filled up, but then focus more on letting whatever you have flow through you to others.
So how do you do that? If you feel as though you have nothing to give, just start where you are. If it’s a smile, smile at someone. If it’s a listening ear, give someone that gift. When you see someone hurting, be there. As my friend Kristin said, you may be the only one offering this person a hug, and you don’t know how long your hug may need to last them. It’s a guaranteed law of God’s universe that the more love you give, the more love will flow to you.
