Until we weren’t…
The cracks began when our first born died in 1994. This was after an accident with hot water that led to serious scalds all over his body.
It was devastating but we held on and were blessed with three other children – two girls and a boy. Despite life seeming OK on the surface, our child’s death lingered unspoken. We were also facing financial problems and pretty soon, we had nothing to say to each other. It just fell apart.
And the house broke…
She left in 2000 with the children. I was left alone. Later, I got my children back. At this point, relations with my wife were still so bad. There was so much hurt between us that I moved towns to get away from all of it.
Regrets?
I do not regret marrying her at all, and she bore me three children that I’m really proud of. I don’t habour any ill will towards my ex-wife. I have moved on and I hope she does too. God has provided me with peace of mind.
What I will do better next time
If I marry again, I’ll ensure that I’ll provide for my family to the best of my ability because to my knowledge, most of our problems emanated from the financial difficulties that we faced. Our primary roles as men are to provide for and protect our families.
All men should strive to play these roles diligently and without fail. Last year I won Sh 1,000,000 through Lotto, and besides investing in real estate, I have been able to pay fees for my daughter and stared a business for my son. When I meet the right woman, I will marry again.
Nancy Wairimu, 50, businesswoman: If he was married before, he won’t be truly yours
Love a second time around
I met my ex-husband in 1986 in Kiambu and we dated for two years. We moved in together in 1988. We didn’t do a church wedding but I didn’t mind.
He had separated from his first wife. The union had produced four children. I also had a daughter from a previous relationship.
Together, we had three children. Our marriage was happy, and we were so in sync that people assumed we were siblings. He was in construction work while I was a farmer. Life was great”
The turning point…
In 1999, thieves broke into our home. They attacked me using machetes and damaged my arms. No other member of my family was hurt.
My problems began then. I was a wife who couldn’t work; I had to depend on others to do the most mundane of tasks. My husband took my new reality harder than I thought and withdrew from me.
I had to look for work…fast. I started selling second hand clothes and then went back into farming, something that was so difficult because of my mutilated hands. I worked hard and educated my children. I did relatively well and bought land in Kinangop to continue farming.
