While I held on to hope that we would find our way back to a happy marriage, my husband remarried, a fact made possible since we weren’t formally married.
The hurts and aches…
My marriage lasted for 26 years. There was a lot of betrayal in my marriage. And having a blended family didn’t help matters as sometimes children don’t accept the new spouse. I felt really hurt when he remarried but such is life.
Regrets…
The fact that we never argued or fought before the unfortunate incident in 1999 meant that we never got to really know each other.
Couples that fight and not sweep thing under the rug are often closer and know all the sides of their partner.
Could I have sought better solutions to our problems? I would drag him to the local chief and even to our parents to seek solutions to our problems, but we couldn’t own up to our mistakes. It is however water under the bridge now. My arms have now fully recovered. I can work for myself. And I’m never getting married again!
Lessons the hard way…
I learnt that men never fully settle into a second marriage since they constantly think of their first families. If a man has broken up or left another family to be with you, you are in a hopeless union. He will always compare you to his first love especially when you err.
Margaret Wambui, 56, a steward
The dream family…
We met in 1985 in Nairobi. I was working as a steward while he was an accountant.
We had our first child in 1987 but we started living together in 1989. We were later blessed with twins in 1995. He quit his job to go into self-employment and I supported his dreams. We were the dream family.
Until it wasn’t…
The new financial pressure caused so many cracks. There was some infidelity and so much mistrust.
Should have known better…
We should have had better communication between us instead of playing down bad behaviour. The moment we developed problems, we should have talked about it and resolved the issues
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