Home General 6 ways having children changes marriage (and not all are bad!)

6 ways having children changes marriage (and not all are bad!)

Becoming a parent was one of the most life-changing experiences I’ve ever had. Not all of those changes and transformations were fun and easy, but every single one of them was worth it.

If you’re a parent today, chances are things are not the same as they were when it was just you and your spouse. The change that happens is total, and it’s also wonderful.

Becoming a parent is a season that comes just like any other, but in many ways it’s completely different. Ecclesiastes 3:1 states, “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.”

We must come into terms that as seasons change so does our life itself.

Here are six ways having children will change your marriage and ultimately even your whole life.

1. Energy is spent less towards one another

Since we are beings with finite sources of energy, the more relationships we build the lesser allocations we put into some of those relationships. There will be days when we will be a little too tired for date night or to go walking around the neighbourhood together. We will have to make wiser allocations of the energy we spend.

2. Physical intimacy becomes a challenge

Let’s face it. It’s hard to get alone and get busy (you know what I mean) when you’re constantly mindful of a toddler crying while trying to wring a door open or of a teenager who knows what you mean when you say you’re “going to bed.”

3. There is more life and joy in the home

Despite the loss of energy and physical intimacy, still there’s nothing to complain about. Just as Psalm 127:3 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.”

There’s no explaining the immense joy having children in the home can bring. While there will always be both good and bad parent-child moments, there is always life lived more abundantly (John 10:10)

4. We find more reason to work hard and excel

Whether it’s the need to work hard to be able to pay for our children’s education, or just being supercharged every time you are filled with the thought of your children, being a parent is a great motivator to excel work-wise and to find means and ways to trust God more with provision and to do our part as well in making ends meet.

5. Our legacy seems to stretch a whole lot more

The Book of Psalms also likens children to arrows that will one day have to be released. When that day comes it will be hard, but it will also be fulfilling especially when we’ve done all we can to instil right values and help our children find their God-given destinations. That way you feel that your legacy just gained more ground.

6. We experience more of God’s grace

Having children is no doubt an expression of God’s grace to us. Not everyone is meant for it, and that’s fine. But for those of us who have been blessed with children, it’s never because we deserve those kids. We’ve failed multiple times. But even in our failures God proves to be all sufficient, allowing us to take part in the growth, destiny, and development of the children He has entrusted to us.


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