“We live our faith within the circumstances of our lives. You find a depth, something new and deeper, something more real and relevant than you’ve ever had before. In all the ways that I’ve had to trust God, that all pales in comparison to now.
“This is where the rubber hits the road. This is where faith really works out. It’s not the mountain top experiences, the depth of our faith is really shown in the valley of trial and trouble. I’m far from perfect. I’ve had real times of sorrow and disappointment. I have struggled with it. What is happening?”
It is not the cancer itself, but the treatment, that has caused Andrew the most pain. His treatment has involved the administering of poison to his body, which made him severely ill. After facing radio-therapy followed by chemotherapy, and several visits to Accident and Emergency, Andrew found himself lying on a hospital bed last Sptember, in the “unnerving” environment of an oncology ward. It was then, amid his pain, that Andrew had a profound experience.
“I just felt these words come to me…I just began to type these words that seemed to me like a song.”
That midnight moment began a non-stop surge of creativity in Andrew’s life. Andrew had not written songs since his early twenties, now he has written 22 songs, and 12 chapters of a book about his experiences. His book, titled The Tunnel, was inspired by an image of a tunnel where “the light disappears behind you, and you can’t see light at other end of tunnel.” What he calls “The book I never wanted to write” is a reflection on life and hope in that darkness.
Rising Hope
Gardiner has begun a ministry called Rising Hope, what he describes as a “vehicle” to allow his pain and creativity to serve others, particularly other ministers who have had their lives pulled apart by cancer.
